Friday, June 24, 2011

You Know Who ELSE Loved a Fuzzy Upper Lip?

While enduring WorldNetDaily editor Joseph Farah's latest spiel from the back of the Medicine Show wagon, I was reminded of this old Gary Larson cartoon:
Because it's reached the point with Joe's sales pitch that all I hear anymore is "blah blah HITLER blah blah blah blah blah NEGRO! blah blah blah BUY THIS CRAPPY BOOK! blah blah blah LOOK AT MY FACE-FUR!"

Godwin felon by day, Mustache Model by night, he is...the Most Predictable Man in the World.  Still, you've got to admire his work ethic, and this week Joe goes all out to grab your attention, until halfway through his disquisition you feel like you're being screamed at through a gas mask by an amyl-huffing Frank Booth.

Hitler was ineligible for presidency, too

The American political and media elite have determined, for whatever reason, that the Constitution's eligibility requirements for the presidency are not important.

That is the only conclusion one can draw from the misinformation, disinformation and disinterest they have shown to the serious questions swirling around not only the unique case of Barack Obama but also to the definition of "natural born citizen" in future presidential elections.

It's not unprecedented that failing republics dumb down eligibility requirements for the presidency. It's not unprecedented that failing republics ignore or obscure eligibility requirements for the presidency. It's not unprecedented that failing republics make tragic mistakes in permitting non-qualified candidates to serve in the presidency.

It happened in 1932 in Germany with a candidate named Adolf Hitler. 
Except Hitler wasn't elected to any office by the German people.  He lost the 1932 Presidential election to Paul Hindenberg, who later appointed him Chancellor, so this would only make sense as an analogy if  McCain had won the 2008 election, and then appointed Obama Speaker of the House.  Or if you were a sideshow grifter with a mean streak as wide as your mustache.
In fact, this tragedy, which resulted in the deaths of tens of millions of innocents and the utter destruction of the German republic, is documented in the biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas.
(Coincidentally, this biography is available in the WND Superstore, which, based on their list of titles, is sort of an Island of Misfit Toys for books.  "Nobody wants a 'Charlie and the Castor Oil Factory'...")
We learn that on March 13, 1932, the day the German national election was being held to determine who would be president, "Nazi rowdies rode around in the backs of trucks with megaphones, stirring things up. A month earlier Hitler was found ineligible to run since he was born and reared in Austria. But this problem was strenuously shoved through a loophole, and he would run after all."

On Jan. 30, 1933, Hitler became the chancellor of Germany.
Talbot Whittingham ran for the Winesburg School Board, but after the County surveyors were done, it turned out he actually lived across the line in the Spoon River District.  And yet, on Jan. 30, 2010, he was hired by the Winesburg District to coach after-school Pee Wee Football!  Believe it...or Nazi!

Anyway, I don't see how Germans giving a pan-Aryan pass to the Austrian-born Hitler has any relevance to Obama's election, since the latter was born in this country.
Imagine how the course of history might have been changed had that "loophole" not been found – if the German people, political elite and media elite had held firm to their constitution that required presidents to be German-born when Hitler clearly was not. 
Then the Enterprise wouldn't have had to deal with all those space Nazis.
I can almost visualize the reaction to what I am saying here: "Farah is comparing Obama to Hitler!"

No, I am not.
"...or at least, I'm not doing it well."
Hitler is in a unique historical class of tyrants and fiends and mass murderers. There's Hitler and Josef Stalin and Mao Zedong. Together they are responsible for the deaths of more than 100 million people.

For perspective, Obama has merely contributed to the economic and moral degradation of the greatest country on earth. 
And yet, if Joe ever gets a hold of a Skynet-style time machine, I think we all know whose mother he will choose to shoot.  Which is just as well, as I imagine he'll find nothing but frustration waiting for him when he materializes naked in Kenya.
I use the Hitler illustration only to demonstrate there are real-world consequences to bending the rules in constitutional republics for political expediency.

That's what happened in Germany in 1932.

It is happening again in America in the 21st century.
Some people may think that by posting this photo I'm comparing Hitler to Farah.

No, I am not.

I use this illustration only to demonstrate that there are real-world consequences to allowing men to wear weird or excessive mustaches.

In 1932, Hitler had too-little mustache.  It was odd and unsettling.

It is happening again in America in the 21st century, with Farah, whose mustache declared sometime in the 70s that it required "lebensraum," and subsequently conquered a wide swath of his middle face, creating -- ironically -- a kind of "Polish Corridor" which cut off his nose from his chin, leaving it landlocked.

The media and political elite are in abject denial about the meaning of the U.S. Constitution's "natural born citizen" requirement for presidents.
Joseph has done a lot of research into this question, and apparently what the Founders meant by "natural born citizen" wasn't what they wrote in the U.S. Constitution, but what some Swiss guy wrote in a book called The Law of Nations 30 years before the U.S. existed.
It does not mean born in the USA. 
 Please...hasn't Bruce Springsteen suffered enough this week?
It does not mean the child of one citizen parent.

It does not mean a guy who offers up a phony and invalid birth certificate.

It does not mean a person who claims biological parentage by a visiting foreign student.
Actually, this is kind of a trick question, because the answer is "it does mean A. and C., but not B.,  meaning that Jose Antonio Vargas will never be President."  So at least Joe has triumphed over one brown person today.
It does not mean a person who claims an adoptive father who was a foreign national. 
It also doesn't mean squat, since adoptions before age 18 do not invalidate the citizenship of persons born on U.S. soil.
It does not mean a person who went to live with that adoptive father in his own country and registered for school as a citizen of Indonesia.

It does not mean a person whose very own citizenship was questioned by U.S. immigration officials in his boyhood.

It does not apply to a person whose "natural born citizenship" has never been investigated by any controlling legal authority in America.
And that little boy grew up to be...Hitler!  Now you know...the rest of the story.
And that's who resides in the White House today because the media and political elite don't want to do their jobs in ensuring that the Constitution prevails.
Is that the media's job?  Because if so, they haven't shown up for work since 1981, and I would seriously consider docking their pay.
So we stumble along and define down what the Constitution says – pretending instead that it requires a presidential candidate to be born in the USA and pretending that the current occupant of the White House has demonstrated that he actually meets that criteria.
So, Joe, you finally admit that Obama was born on U.S. soil (but it somehow doesn't count anyway)?  Well, that's progress.  Say, what were you pretending back when McCain, who wasn't born here, ran for President?
Some 15 state legislatures were concerned enough about the Constitution that they introduced or even passed legislation requiring that future presidential candidates demonstrate eligibility before getting on the ballot. All of them claimed these legislative initiatives had nothing to do with Obama, but instead had to do with constitutional integrity. Yet, when Obama produced a document he claims is his birth certificate, these initiatives all went away.
So those state legislators were lying about their motives, but still had a rudimentary sense of shame.  Well, it's not exactly the climax of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, but I'll take what I can get.
Not only are we about to allow Obama to seek re-election as an ineligible candidate, we are about to amend the Constitution by default.
Therefore, in the immortal, if paraphrased, words of Willie Nelson: "Mamas, Don't Let Your Blacks Grow Up to be President."  Because that kind of thing just whitens Joe's mustache.

9 comments:

bulbul said...

I imagine he'll find nothing but frustration waiting for him when he materializes naked in Kenya.
I literally lolled. And then I thought about it for a second and recognized this line for what it was: the best idea for a ZAZ-style comedy I've seen in years. A bunch of birther nuts (I'm thinking something along the lines of the Blue Collar Comedy tour, except replaced by real actors, well maybe not Ron White) take over a NASA facility where a time machine is being tested and use it to transport themselves to 1961 Kenya to kill Obama. They'll of course have to kidnap a geek who was working late and a janitor. Hilarity ensues.
Oh please please pretty please, someone make this movie.

trashfire said...

History exam

National election was all screwed up, and the loser was eventually appointed winner through a process that had never been used before in the history of the country. Soon after, power consolidated in the capital, civil rights were curtailed, and wars broke out everywhere. This statement most accurately refers to:
a) 1932 Germany;
b) 2000 USA;
c) both.

KWillow said...

This has been another mind-numbing episode of "When Stupid People Use Big Words!". Stay tuned next week when Jonah Goldberg tells us about: "Dark Matter and Black Holes- ppfffaaarrrt!"

Aimless in Florida said...

"I imagine he'll find nothing but frustration waiting for him when he materializes naked in Kenya."

Yes! a movie! but let's send Palin as the janitor since she's worn out the blah, blah and her followers only want to see her naked. And, you know, you could send John Kerry's wife, too. Not to see her naked but just to get her out of here. Hell, throw in Anthony wiener since he would probably dig that sort of thing.

gocart mozart said...

One Farah mustache = three of Hitlers. Am I the only one troubled by this fact?

D. Smurfen (ChrisV) said...

Wow, he's like one of those crazy-ass clerics who hid away in a garret for thirty years parsing the biblical texts to prove that pi is equal to three.

Green Eagle said...

I would like to follow up Mr. Farah's excellent use of argument by analogy with this all too obvious conclusion:

Benito Mussolini was unquestionably a citizen of Italy, who led his country into disaster after becoming the head of the Italian government. Therefore, it is clear that it would be a gigantic calamity to allow any citizen of the United States to become president.

Now that we've made that clear, I'm throwing my support behind Rupert Murdoch.

Anonymous said...

'It does not apply to a person whose "natural born citizenship" has never been investigated by any controlling legal authority in America.' But Obama is only 8/10ths of a person !

BTW, how does a "controlling legal authority" investigate anything ? A new sitcom -- "Constitution 0-0", with the 2nd Amendment as the renegade beat cop who gets results !

histrogeek said...

Wow! I can't even say his logic train derailed in this one. More like he coupled it together backward, hitched a Prius to the front, and tries to get it fly. Absolutely none of it made sense.