Thursday, April 26, 2012

Good News! Bad News!

Actually, there's good news, bad news, and weird news.  The good news is that the Good News isn't the Good News starring June Allyson and Mel Tormé.  The bad news, however, is so bad it might as well involve Mel Tormé, so let's get that out of the way first:

Some of you may have already heard that Annti -- our own much adored Joanna -- has suffered yet another cruel misfortune, this time the loss of her beloved "furry chirren."  The Boy, as he was affectionately known, passed away in September, and now his sister, Biddy is gone.  Perhaps it's a small mercy that Biddy, an older cat in poor health, won't have to spend her final days enduring the shocks and stresses that will surely follow Annti's eviction, but that means Joanna herself much face those same things alone, making this normally sad event seem all the more heartbreaking.

Joanna sent me this photo months ago, and I wish I had posted it sooner.  But perhaps there is no better time than now.
 Farewell, Boy and Biddy.

Happily, there is one slim ray of sunshine beaming down on the World O' Crap community.  Yesterday, our Special Correspondent Keith sent me the following email:
 After 16 mos. of unemployment, as of this afternoon have finally been offered a position that offers gainful employment. I'll start in a few weeks.
[Details redacted so Michelle Malkin isn't tempted to snoop around his office break room, looking for granite countertops.]  So that's one positive thing that's happened to a fellow Crapper, but the good news for us is that Keith (despite blandishments from another blog which has been attempting to poach our staff) will be maintaining his Wo'C Special Correspondency:
However, I shall not abandon the magnificent cause of crap and will continue to provide our readers with the worst of the worst. So stay tuned.
In my own life, things continue to be stressful, but occasionally the tension is relieved by a bit of Dadaist street theater.  Walking down Hollywood Boulevard yesterday, en route to meet a friend, I had to step off the curb as a young guy dressed in a backwards baseball cap, a button down shirt, and nude below the waist, burst onto the sidewalk after stealing a plaid tea towel from a souvenir shop.  He engaged in a brief, violent tug-of-war with the store's middle-aged proprietor, and lost, perhaps because he could only wrestle one-handed, as the other was assigned to clutching his groin.  He spun around and sprinted down the street, with the grizzled, wheezing, bespectacled shopkeeper in hot pursuit.

When I recounted this to my friend, her main interest was in the tea towel.  "Was he covering his junk, or just being an asshole?"

"He was both covering his junk and being an asshole," I said.  "But not, alas, successfully covering his asshole."

11 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

...no taxi driver?? what kind of a story is that!?

Chris Vosburg said...

Shit like this drove me out of Hollywood in the eighties. I was having my own, uh, problems, and the sideshow, which I'd previously thought was highly entertaining, was making it worse.

I've always wondered at the efficacy of confining a mentally ill person in a wardful of mentally ill persons, thus insuring that his closest contacts are those that reassure the illness itself.

Outside the asylum, the closest thing I can think of is Hollywood.

Scott, enjoy and savor every minute of your planned vacation trip to the channel islands, in other words.

Unknown said...

Hey Joanna I am so sorry for yet another loss. I live in NOLA and am struggling myself but every so often I have an extra couple bucks that I can throw. If there is some way we can exchange email maybe I can help a sister out. I cant do paypal cuz i aint got no cards. But Im mid city and have occasion to the work truck. Or if ya got a p.o. Cuz im some crazy mf on the innertubez. But your story has my heart aching and my shit could be worse. Hit me up.

suttree said...

sorry had trouble signing im suttree

Stacia said...

Annti, I don't know if you got my emails but I hope so. I'm so sorry for the loss of your furry pals. They were both most definitely blessed to have you as their human -- or, as Charlie Stross says, their "food ape."

The bad news, however, is so bad it might as well involve Mel Tormé

Ain't that the fuckin' truth. The man might as well have been an officially licensed harbinger.

Li'l Innocent said...

Annti, I got your e-mail that you sent out to those of us who used your Paypal setup to make a donation (pretty much a pittance in my case) - I'd love to do as Suttree suggests as shoot you a few $$ on a regular basis for the duration of this TOTAL unforgivable bullshit you're going thru with housing.

As for dear Biddy leaving our continuum - well, like most of us here, I've experienced that sort of sorrow, but not while dealing with trying to keep something between my head and the open sky, and I'm so, so sorry. When you've got a roof again - and you WILL - your new kitty/kitties will look at you and say, "Mom, I heard from Biddy that you're the best. So here I am."

suttree said...

So im just throwing my name back out there. Im just not sure what the protocol on contacting a stranger on the internet is. Im certainly not trying or offering to save the world. But here and there I might be able to help a fellow crapper Anyone who finds this place humorous has problems I can relate to. I had a good sign today that things are looking up. I strarted to move into my new shop and a PURE BLACK KITTY walked around out front. If that is not an omen then Dr. John dont got gris gris and Professor Longhair dont know bout the piano.

Doc Logan said...

I added my drop to the bucket.

Joanna, sorry to hear the bad news atop the bad news. As a friend once said to me, whoever is sticking pins in your voodoo doll is bound to get carpal tunnel syndrome from the repetitive stress. But there's good people here and we're on your side.

Nadine said...

Since Annti Joanna has been having mucho problems posting, she asked me to pass along this:

Sorry, got way the fuck off-topic, better shut up before this fucking thing crashes again.  If I don't get to make comments on that post on Wo'C with the picture of Biddy & Boy (left to right, he's the one sitting up, twice her size even in youth) by Scott or Keith, because I tried, very hard, last night, with tears streaming down my face from all of the love, but the fucking machine crashed again before I could post, no matter how many times I rebooted.  So please thank everybody for me and give them all of my love, because they've got it anyway, just remind 'em gently for me that I may be offline at times, but I never EVER forget about you or them, esp. Scott, Mary, Sheri, Vosburg, PreznitGiveMeTurkee, Bill S., and I know that I'm forgetting a couple dozen people here but I R dain-bread  ---  Stacia, whom I adore, etc.

So, I'm dain-bread as well from this dandy virus that my roommate & 1st husband passed over to me (Thank you, dear!), I'm leaving it at this. One note from Annti, In the picture, Boy is the much bigger kitty sitting up (he's a Maine Coon cat and ran about 22 lbs.) and Biddy is the delicate one lying down.

Nadine said...

In case of confusion, the blocked quote in the middle is from Annti, the beginning & end parts are from moi.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Fucking Google motherfuckers, murdering my comment. Perhaps my last night in NOLA ever, wish I'd met you sooner, Suttree, and thank all of y'all for sticking with me through the hardest times of my life. There was more but the "accidental" deletion of my comment has blown it away like my money and meds have been stolen from me, all whilst trusting a stupid mofo from JERSEY to help me find an apartment. I leave tomorrow, if I've got the gas money, to head up to the 9th sigmoid colon of HELL, aka the Fallen Uterus' Incest/Baby-Rape Ranch, where her no-neck rapist fucktard rules the roost. Sorry to be a bummer, yet again, but them's the breaks when you've been illegally fucked out of ALLEGEDLY FEDERALLY-MANDATED SUBSIDIZED HOUSING, and can't find SHIT-ALL ELSE that you can actually AFFORD. Tried a nice rooming house w/no elevator today, but she wanted $400/mo., which wouldn't let me keep paying for my storage unit or my truck insurance. How I'll get back on the 18th for the dr. appt. or the 26th for bullshit traffic court, I dunno, but I'll figure shit out.

I'll always miss the New Orleans that we all lost, but it sure as hell ain't HERE no more, that's for damned sure. Racism rules the roost, along with sexism, breederism, and cult-freak fanaticism. "Community values," they call that shit. Suck a communal fart outta my ass.

But most of all, the bestest Crappers of them all, I love y'all and I won't be disappearing from HERE, no matter what.