Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Minorities Are the Disease, Selwyn Duke is the Cure

You remember Selwyn Duke, the super-genius tennis pro whose athletic activities were actually a mask for a secret agenda, just like Robert Culp's Kelly Robinson in I Spy.  Instead of foiling assassinations and unmasking foreign agents, however, Selwyn used his cover identity to whine about shit on the internet.

So smart is Selwyn, in fact, that he could easily have gone the other way and become a super spy's mortal antagonist -- the super-villain -- except for one, fatal flaw.  His brain has a Dead Man Switch, and in order to function Selwyn must continually press the subcutaneous button in his chin.
Demographic tipping point: whites now less than half of US births
Bill Clinton once said that he looked forward to the day when whites were a minority in America. While he won't live to see such a time, a demographic milestone that should send a tingle up Slick Willie's leg was just reached. 
Actually, what Clinton said (in 1998) was this:
Today, largely because of immigration, there is no majority race in Hawaii or Houston or New York City. Within five years, there will be no majority race in our largest state, California. In a little more than 50 years, there will be no majority race in the United States. No other nation in history has gone through demographic change of this magnitude in so short a time ... [These immigrants] are energizing our culture and broadening our vision of the world. They are renewing our most basic values and reminding us all of what it truly means to be American.
Not quite the same thing as gleefully wringing his hands and cackling like a mad scientist as he contemplates the day when white people are consigned to the demographic dung heap, and Muzak begins playing lush, orchestral arrangements of gangsta rap tunes in elevators and dentist's offices.  But some people are upset at the thought of getting checked for gingivitis to the accompaniment of the 101 Strings' easy listening rendition of Ghostface Killah's Whip You With a Strap, and certainly Clinton's words were enough to freak out Pat Buchanan, who wrote “Mr. Clinton assured us that it will be a better America when we are all minorities and realize true ‘diversity.’ Well, those students [at Portland State] are going to find out, for they will spend their golden years in a Third World America.”

But it also scarred the mind of young DavidSelwyn Duke, who was so rattled by Clinton's race treachery that he missed a series of easy lobs on the Country Club court, later exposing his father to gibes and ribbing from the rest of his foursome over gin rickeys at the 19th Hole. 

And now, it's all come horribly, horribly true:
Writes The New York Times:
    After years of speculation, estimates and projections, the Census Bureau has made it official: White births are no longer a majority in the United States.
Obviously, a big reason for this demographic shift is migration — and mainly the legal variety. As a result of Ted Kennedy's Immigration Reform Act of 1965, the level of yearly immigration increased from approximately 250,000 prior to '65 to about 1,000,000 afterwards. And its nature changed also: 85 percent of our new arrivals now hail from the Third World and Asia. This radical departure from America's traditional immigration patterns has created a demographic transformation possibly unprecedented in world history — except for cases of actual invasion.
Of course, the White majority was itself the result of "actual invasion," but I don't think White people can or should take all the credit, since much of the heavy lifting was accomplished by our allies, smallpox, typhus, cholera, and measles.  (Paradoxically, a virus is blind to race or ethnicity, so the invaders' best weapon in the fight to establish a White, European majority and culture in America was itself a paragon of diversity.  I suppose, like a spoonful of sugar with medicine, a little irony helps the genocide go down.)
If one blindly accepts the unproven assertion, "Our strength lies in our diversity" — which is much like saying my health lies in my cancerous tumor — he may join Clinton, Chris Matthews and other languid-minded leftists in a leg-tingling love-fest.
The NY Times says more non-Whites are being "born," Selwyn Duke says they're metastasizing.   The point is, if you're the sort of person who can easily regard your fellow human beings as a disease, based on differences in language or melanin content, then you've got to admit that that whole introducing smallpox thing is really come back to bite you in the ass.
 But the reality is that diversity isn't a strength to be applauded — it's an obstacle to be overcome. To understand this, you only have to study history and consider the fate of the former Yugoslavia: the Balkans are balkanized because of diversity. And now the United States is being balkanized, too.
Apparently the history of the Balkans began with the Treaty of Versailles, and the Greeks, Thracians, Dacians, Romans, Byzantines, Serbs, Bulgars, and Ottomans were just passing through on their way to Baskin Robbins, or something.  Here's a question, Selwyn:  Can you tell a Greek from a Macedonian?  A Bosnian from an Albanian?  A Slovenian from a Croat?  A Montenegrin from a Romanian?  Because they can.  Those distinctions are important to them, because conflicts over scarce land and resources that stretch back into antiquity has sharpened group identity and sustained ancient grudges.  If the Balkans give a bad name to diversity, it's because of the undying embers of hatred -- the same kind you're hunched over right now, huffing and puffing in an effort to get that spark to catch and burn.

And not that it matters, but Yugoslavia was not the victim of an open door immigration policy, it was an example of hubristic nation-building by politicians and bureaucrats -- a worst-case scenario of a zoning commission run amuck.  If a camel is a horse designed by committee, then Yugoslavia is a camel designed by the blindfolded panel of What's My Line?  But if, as you say, the ethnic composition of the U.S. is largely the result of legal immigration and varying birthrates, then it's organic.  Nobody is bundling these groups together into some ad hoc Kingdom of the Southern Slavs, they're coming here willingly.
Another problem is that "diversity" is a vague term; there are many kinds of diversity.
Selwyn also has the same problem with ice cream.  Once there were just three flavors: vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry.  Simple.  Specific.  Then they combined them, and called it Neopolitan, and suddenly the Balkans were melting in your mouth! 

As for what's helping diversify us into division, immigration, it is a vaguely understood institution. And when people accept something because it's fashionable, not really knowing what they're getting, disaster can result.
As anyone who watched the season finale of Project Runway can attest, when the designers were asked to make an undocumented Guatemalan out of tulle.
We're always wary of dangerous imports, such as contaminated goods from China or substandard medical devices from overseas.
I see our fellow citizens have been upgraded from "deadly pathogen" to "toothpaste tainted with anti-freeze."  You've come a long way, Baby.
It also requires vigilance when non-indigenous life forms are introduced into an ecosystem.
Pardon me, I've got to run next door and congratulate my neighbor on being promoted from "toxic teething ring" to "Zebra mussel."
Some, such as the horse or soybean, blend in seamlessly and can be beneficial; others, such as pythons in the Everglades or the Brown Tree Snake in Guam, can disrupt an ecosystem and decimate native species.
The next time you're in the break room, observe your co-workers.  Is the guy in the next cubicle a soybean, or a tree snake?  Don't be afraid to bring this question up with H.R. --  I'm sure they'll appreciate the input.
This is why the answer to the question "Do you support immigration?" should be "not enough data." 
Shorter Selwyn Duke:  I'm going to meander around for awhile, comparing people to cancer and pythons, then not come to a conclusion about anything.

But wait!  There's still another 850 words to go!  Um...let's skip around a little...
Since people do get the government they deserve, it matters very much what species of immigration it is. 
How about if the immigrant species is Natasha Henstridge from Species?
 (It's a long post, and I just wanted to see if you were still paying attention.)
What is their cultural nature? How compatible are they with our cultural ecosystem? Will they blend into it or supplant native cultural elements?
Will they replace our traditional Appalachian folk music with the dark and alien syncopation of Ragtime?
 Of course, some will say that the latter is fine, that change is good. And, actually, they could possibly be right — except that "change" is another vague term.
We could stop this race suicide if we just learned to use more precise and specific words, like "grommet" and "furlong."
 If those cultural elements are superior, then, by all means, embrace them; if they're not, avoid them like the plague — which, incidentally, came to Europe from Asia.
Thank you, Spice Trade.  If our pasty ancestors had just shut up and eaten their boiled hog throat without whining for some cardamom or turmeric, they could have saved themselves some unsightly pustules.
Those that trumpet immigration, diversity and change are the last ones to judge such matters, however, because they tend to be cultural relativists whose moral foundation is even vaguer than the slogans they disgorge.
Coincidentally, I felt my gorge rising last night, and thought maybe I'd eaten that leftover pizza a bit too fast.  However, I had a little 7-Up, hawked up a bumper-sticker, and I was fine.
Many will say in response to this that assimilation is the answer. Ah, it's a nice dream...[A]sking for assimilation becomes less logical all the time. After all, how is it a meaningful statement to say "All people have to do is become American" when there's no agreement on what it means to be American anymore? Depending on whom you listen to, you can be an American and be a socialist, free-market adherent, devout Christian, witch, pro-abortion or pro-life activist, existentialist, realist, hippie, yuppie, black or white supremacist, La Raza separatist, prude, libertine, traditionalist, multiculturalist, patriarchy proponent, feminist, deist, atheist, humanist or Satanist.
But you'll need a Day Planner.
 You can have any ideology, philosophy, faith, culture or "lifestyle" you want.
This freedom of thought is clearly un-American.
 It's "whatever works for you," and that itself is now to be considered a quintessentially American sentiment (unless it works for you to consider it something else). Well, guess what? What works for many is to not assimilate into they know not what. And that is the issue: there's no clearly identifiable, dominant, appealing culture to assimilate into, anyway.
Yes, if only American culture were more dominant, people overseas might be inclined to watch our TV shows or go see our crappy action movies.
The problem here is the same as it is with the "undefining" of marriage: If something can mean anything, it essentially means nothing. "Cat" refers to a specific creature, but if "cat" could mean fish, aardvark, meadowlark, chair, cookie, ice cube or whatever works for you, it would lose meaning; it could mean anything and would just be "something." And so it is with a nation.
Well in that case, I hereby declare this the United States of Cookie!  (I dare you not to assimilate now, you undocumented meadowlarks!)
 The Western man has forgotten that a nation is essentially an extension of the tribe.
When I studied under Eric Hobsbawn at the New School, I was particularly taken by his theory that the rise of the nation-state is really a metaphor for the Cleveland Indians pitching staff.
 The only other option is to have many tribes living within the same borders, which historically hasn't begotten tranquility. Just think of the Hutus and Tutsis in Ruanda — and then consider that there was probably less dividing them culturally than there is dividing the motley "us."
Just think of the Hoosiers and the Buckeyes, and their genocidal struggles to secure the Richmond Applebees -- and then consider their inhumane use of child soldiers, especially as softball teams.
This is why, unlike most, I don't expect America to ever become majority non-white.

Our republic won't last that long.
Apparently the White people are going to take their Constitution and go home.
In the meantime, the band will play on, as we repeat all the vague feel-doubleplusgood mantras.
Anyone want to guess at Orwell's current RPMs?
Hey, folks, remember, immigration is the lifeblood of America. Well, maybe so. But then it's important to accept a crucial fact about transfusions: If the blood type is incompatible, the body dies.
So if you happen to know any immigrants, take a moment to thank them for being an imprecise, cancer-ridden, plague-carrying pagan tree snake with an incompatible blood type.
America is on life support, and she does certainly need some kind of transfusion. But in a world dominated by socialism and kleptocracy, I don't know where one goes to find large amounts of freedom-flowing blood. I think we had better shut our borders and stop looking overseas, open our minds, and start casting our eyes heavenward.
This is either a solution to the death of Western Civilization, or symptoms of a grand mal seizure.  Or maybe Selwyn accidentally took his finger off his chin.

17 comments:

Carl said...

This radical departure from America's traditional immigration patterns has created a demographic transformation possibly unprecedented in world history — except for cases of actual invasion.

That's because Yurpeens wised up and realized they were leaving better nations to come here and trade down in pensions and healthcare and roadways and....

The Third World rubes hadn't gotten the message yet, is all

James Briggs Stratton "Doghouse" Riley said...

Those that trumpet immigration, diversity and change are the last ones to judge such matters, however, because they tend to be cultural relativists whose moral foundation is even vaguer than the slogans they disgorge.

Before I came to this I was afraid Selwyn had lost his Thesaurus. Or just worn it out.

It is sobering to consider how great the odds that Young Selwyn Duke, at some point or other, received passing grades in both American History and English Composition.

Cole said...

What mr. selwynnduke forgets is that because white uropes killed off the native source of not-whites shortly after unwrapping the big ole present of North America that Daddy Gawd gave 'em, they had to import all those other not-whites to do their work for 'em.

So, by his (and countless other inbred wingers) "theory of racial and cultural contamination", isn't this situation self-inflicted? How can he argue that the descendents of those uropes who accidentally or purposely came here carried superior genes (or whatever)? If the situation is as dire as he feels, it's whites' own fault we've come to this terrible end where the supposedly superior thinkers and culturers done got outnumbered by the not-whites. They should've gone underground like Morlocks. (of course we should consider the possibility that this is all paranoid, racist bullshit.)

Confession--I'm white, and knowing that assholes like selwynnduke are about as stupid-evil as you can get in a civilized society, I vote we rid ourselves of these motherfuckers, abolish organized religion and turn our eyes back to the Earth (where we all live), and get busy with Life and the future. How does that fit with his theory that Whites Rule Everyone Else Drools?

Stacia said...

I suppose, like a spoonful of sugar with medicine, a little irony helps the genocide go down.

This is why I want to be you when I grow up.

The Western man has forgotten that a nation is essentially an extension of the tribe.

Oh for the love of... this yutz doesn't even know Native Americans exist, does he? I wonder if he was born this ignorant or if he worked really hard at it.

(Christ, this Captcha is an asshole.)

Cynthianne said...

Okay, this was the funniest post I've read in a looooong time.

If you follow Duke's logic (?!?) North America was ruined because the Indians didn't have a strict immigration policy. Now we got all them alien species like Duke (and me, come to that) running around destroying the ecology.

Horrors!

Anonymous said...

“85 percent of our new arrivals now hail from the Third World and Asia” – so Merkins will get smart and hardworking ? Why isn’t that “Win-Win” ?

Anonymous said...

Well, if Selwyn Duke is so worried about (white) race purity, maybe he outta go back to whatever Old World country his ancestors came from (and these days, he might find even those countries polluted with Moos-lims and people of a darker hue than off-white)

The only people in America with a right to bitch about immigrants are those with names like Red Cloud, Rain In The Face, and Geronimo...

werewolf said...

Natasha Henstridge was born. Selwyn Duke was excreted.

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

Just think of the Hutus and Tutsis in Ruanda — and then consider that there was probably less dividing them culturally than there is dividing the motley "us."

Indeed. And then "consider" that these two groups were very fluid and loosely-defined and lived more or less harmoniously until Belgian colonialists decided that it would be a swell idea to emphasize the distinction and stratify the population for purposes of social control.

What was my point? Oh yeah: white people suck. Also, Duke is a jackass. And does he really think that squinty, finger-on-chin picture makes him look like some sort of intellectual? That could use some rethinking.

D. Sidhe said...

Holy shit, Scott. I feel bad for laughing at that, it was gaspingly bleak and hilarious at the same time. I'm not even sure which part of that most needs to be tattooed on Mr Duke's chest. I'm afraid if we make the print too small, it won't serve the intended purpose of letting people know what they're about to have sex with so they can run away.

KWillow said...

But in a world dominated by socialism and kleptocracy, I don't know where one goes to find large amounts of freedom-flowing blood.

But there's a;ways plenty O' blood a'flowin in the current Capitalist kleptocracy!

D Johnston said...

I wish I could say something clever, but all I'm thinking is that dipshits like this are the reason that I can't bring my girlfriend over here.

America is on life support, and she does certainly need some kind of transfusion.

Well, Selwyn, given that the greatest accolade in your bio is "featured on the Rush Limbaugh Show", I'm guessing that most immigrants contribute more to this country than you.

Oh, and for the record, this isn't the first time that Duke Sans Hood compared immigrants to cancer:

http://selwynduke.typepad.com/selwyndukecom/george-soros-the-most-evi.html

scripto said...

If someone's got to stand for the white man why does it have to be this guy? It's embarrassing. The logic swirls round and round and round but it just won't flush.

ckc (not kc) said...

...I think "casting our eyes heavenward" refers to Canada, eh?

Debbi said...

Selwyn seems to have totally forgotten that we're all immigrants here.

I guess this was his long-winded way of calling first dibs for whitey.

Li'l Innocent said...

"... large amounts of freedom-flowing blood", eh?

Could it be that Selwyn is in lineal descent from the vampires who used to boss the Western Hemisphere before those geronimo-come-lately First Nations folks arrived? (Look at that rosy, plumped-up face: just like the description in Bram Stoker!) That would give him immigration bitching rights, to be sure.

He presses his chin to remind himself not to let the teeth show too much.

Anonymous said...

Actually, in 1932, Hitler ran for chancellor twice and president once, then became chancellor in 1933, and president in 1934.

Yes, technically, that was an election by parliament, so it wasn't a direct election for chancellor. Just like presidents aren't elected directly in the US, but are elected by the electoral college.

The poster's definitely for one of the general elections, not for the presidential election.