Sunday, July 22, 2012

Happy Birthday, Preznit!

Longtime readers will recognize this as a very special occasion: every year on this day, our old friend preznit giv me turkee rises early and sets his browser to block images, on the off chance that we've opted to celebrate his birthday with the usual Ann Coulter photo.

Well, that venerable custom is over, I'm afraid, because what with torture porn and super violent video games, kids today are just so jaded that it's nearly impossible to frighten them with the classic monsters.  (However, if you're a traditionalist, you can get all the Coulter you can stand in this post.)

Besides, preznit has always been extremely kind to us, so I've decided that this year, we'll forgo the monster entirely, and skip straight to the damsel distressed by the monster.  And what better B-movie babe to start the birthday season with than Mara Corday?
Showgirl, actress, and Playboy's Miss October of 1958, Mara spent much of her career shrieking gamely in the face of one cinematic grotesque after another.  In 1955's Tarantula, for instance, she survived one of the most horrifying abominations of the decade when she was forced to share the screen with John Agar, while in The Black Scorpion (featured in the first season of Mystery Science Theater 3000), she was menaced by Brobdingnagian arachnids who tended to drool fluently like my Grandpa after he'd fallen asleep in the Barcalounger during Lawrence Welk.  But in our home, she is best remembered and most beloved for her starring role in the funniest film of 1957, The Giant Claw.

So please join me, won't you, in wishing the Preznit a very happy natal day!

Okay, one quick Ann Coulter picture -- just one! -- and then I swear, I'm done with her:
 "Many happy returns there, fella!  Say...do these giblets make me look fat?"

15 comments:

Stacia said...

Happy birthday Prez! Looks like Scott got you a mighty fine turkey this year.

Carl said...

Happy birthday, old friend! Many Manny more!

Anonymous said...

Yah! Birthday cake! And hopefully many good prezzies for our Prez!

Gappy

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

No way that's Ann, she looks much better than usual. Photoshopped?

P.S. Happy B-Day, Mr. Preznit!
~

Anonymous said...

Happy, happy birthday and all the other days, dear Preznit.
Suezboo

maryclev said...

Close your eyes, and think of Marilyn:

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday Mr Preznit
Happy birthday to you

Thanks, Mr Preznit
For all the things you've done
For the internet memes you've won
For all the LOLs
Lobbed at RightWing Trolls,
We thank you so much


(Here's the real deal: http://youtu.be/k4SLSlSmW74 )

Bill S said...

Have a Most Excellent Birthday, Preznit!
Here are a few people who get to share the same birthday as you: Albert Brooks, David Spade, Danny Glover, Louise Fletcher, Selena Gomez, Don Henley, George Clinton, Erica Gavin, Bob Dole, Alex Trebek, Willen DaFoe, Terence Stamp, Lonette McKee, Rufus Wainwright, Bobby Sherman, John Leguizamo, and Alan Menken.
Also the birthday of 4 late notables: James Wale, Dan Rowen, Margaret Whiting and Rose Kennedy.

KWillow said...

Happy Birthday Preznit!

In response to ifthethunderdontgetya (which for some time I read as "thunderingdonkey":

Its the googley eyes that differentiate her from Coulter.

Professor Fate said...

The Giant Claw one of my favorite bad B movies. well now I know what I'm watching tonight. Mara actually does a pretty good job what with the script and the the utterly laughable Monster she shares the screen with.

Chris Vosburg said...

Happy Birthday, preznit, and may your special day be as BIG AS A BATTLESHIP! Here, wash it down with some of Pierre's Applejack.

And for fun, check out the battleship video mashup created at Atomic Monsters, which tallies the number of times the word battleship is used by various characters to describe the anti-matter space buzzard (twelve, count 'em, twelve times).

Professor Fate, star Jeff Morrow famously first saw the goofy-looking marionette bird at a movie premiere with friends, and was so mortified that he went out and waited in the parking lot until the movie was over.

Of course that was after the scene where Morrow groped the peacefully sleeping Mara Corday on an airplane, so maybe he got what he deserved.

Yep, I'll be dusting this DVD off tonight as well.

M. Bouffant said...

Many happy, Prez!

"Not Craw ...Craw!!"

Woodrowfan said...

Happy Birthday PGMT!

heydave said...

Yay Preznit!

D. Sidhe said...

Happy belated birthday, Preznit. Hope it was great!

Can't help feeling like lolcats would be more appropriate for some reason.

preznit said...

thanks for the birthday wishes, all. had a fun day and glad I didn't have to break out teh brain bleach and Brillo(TM) contacts ;}