Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Happy Birthday, D.Sidhe!

I seldom check my Google Voice Mail, which transcribes the audio messages for your convenience, but for some reason I looked in on it today and found this:  "When Meco ratings the sandwich over 27 says well goodbye he said his something I don't understand you all about to get food and he will pull it together and she said yes teamwork you all get the food y'all just don't know how you know who's the best at some point."

Naturally, I was both thrilled and frightened, thinking that somehow Pastor Swank had gotten my number.  Sadly, it was just some poor schmoe who had misdialed, and didn't realize he was dictating his deli order to the world's most incompetent robot stenographer.

Still, it got me to thinking that whenever my head reels after going on the Tilt-a-Hurl of wingnut logic over at Townhall, American Thinker, RenewAmerica, or their moral equivalents, I can always count on you, the World O' Crap reader, to apply a cool and soothing compress of sense and sensibility.  And few people of my acquaintance make more or better sense than D.Sidhe.

Now I don't want to go off on a panegyric, because she's exceptionally humble, despite being, as s.z. has said, "one of the sharpest cookies around."  So sharp, in fact, that she could be effectively wielded as a shiv during a rumble over turf between two rival groups of juvenile delinquents, street punks so tough they don't fear their manhood would suffer at all were they to dance into battle using Jerome Robbins choreography and delicious baked goods as weapons.

But if I'm not going to read off a litany of her virtues and accomplishments as a light unto the comment threads, I do believe that at minimum she deserves credit for coining the term, "Zombie Bigfeet," which feels like it was purpose-built just for this occasion:
Montana Man Killed During Bigfoot Hoax

A Montana man dressed in a Bigfoot costume in an apparent attempt to provoke reports of sightings of the mythical creature was killed when he was struck by two cars on a highway.

Randy Lee Tenley, 44, of Kalispell, in Northwest Montana, was standing in the right-hand lane of U.S. Highway 93 Sunday night when he was struck by a car, the Montana Highway Patrol said. A second car then hit him again as he lay in the road, authorities said.

Schneider told the local newspaper the Daily Inter Lake that authorities determined Tenley’s motive, posing as Bigfoot, after interviewing the man’s friends.  Alcohol “may have been a factor,” in the incident.
Ya don't say!  But this is probably the best part:
The military-style “Ghillie” suit worn by Tenley was a full-body suit made of strips of camouflage fabric, making it difficult for drivers to spot him.  The suit is typically used by military members to camouflage snipers in combat.
Like one of these:
A clip from the Monty Python sketch, "How Not to be Seen."  

I doubt I would have taken Mr. Tenley for Sasquatch, or a chupucabra, or even the Legend of Boggy Creek, as I don't get out in the country much, so my cryptid-watching skills are nothing to brag about; certainly nowhere near James Wolcott's.  I suspect, what with all the camouflage he was wearing (which worked, mind you; it might have been a crazy plan, but the part that called for him to stand in the middle of the highway sporting sniper clothing that would render him invisible to motorists really worked!) and him being out in the woods, that my first impulse would be to assume he was a Predator.  My second impulse would be to GET TO THE CHOPPA!
If that proved impractical (and as someone who's depended almost exclusively on public transit for the past two years, I can attest that there is rarely a choppa around when you need one), my third impulse would be to take a hand pruning saw and cut Mr. Tenley off at the ankles, then strap him to the car roof, and surprise Mary as I dragged him through the front door and began beautifying him with our most festive ornaments.

(Because, to be perfectly honest, my first reaction upon hearing this story was to think, "Whoever drew the obituary beat at that local newspaper must have thought it was Christmas!")

Anyway...this seems to have wandered a bit off-topic, even for a Wo'C birthday card, so I'll just sign off with the short film we made to honor the occasion last year.  It was our third cat video, but the first motion picture in which Moondoggie is actually seen in motion.
Happy Birthday, D.Sidhe!

21 comments:

Bill S said...

A most excellent birthday id wished for you, D. Sidhe! I must away to work, but when I'll have my full list the Famous People who get to share your birthday. I WILL leave you with one name to tide you over: Jack Daniel, a man no doubt responsible for MANY Happy Birthdays.

Bill S said...

when I return.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

This is probably the best b-Day video in the history of the universe.

Happy Another Trip Around The Sun Day, D. Sidhe!
~

AnnPW said...

Can't do better than cat videos, and Riley and Moondoggie are wonderful subjects!

Happy Birthday, DSidhe, fellow Virgoean (sp?)!

M. Bouffant said...

Astrology is a load, but many happy returns to all you other Virgos out there.

"To single any of you out individually would be a big mistake."

M. Bouffant said...

And, today is John Cage's 100th. Birthday. Or would be.

Nadine said...

Happy, happy Natal Anniversary to one of my very favorite members of W o' C, D. Sidhe. And also one of my 3 favoritest movie re-cap artisans. May you and your wonderful partner have a long, happy and healthy life together. And I send my love to both of you as well.

~The Minx~

heydave said...

Both yee and haw, and, of course, happy birthday!

Chris Vosburg said...

Happy Birthday, D. To all of you.

Bill S said...

John Cage was on my list, M. Bouffant. Also sharing D. Sidhe's birthday:
Jesse James, the notorious outlaw, not the douchebag who dumped a gorgeous movie star for an ugly Nazi.
Daryl F. Zanuck, movie producer
Werner Herzog, movie director
George Lazenby, actor (one-time James Bond)
Carol Lawrence, actress-singer (Maria in the original Broadway cast of "West Side Story")
Loudon Wainwright III, quirky singer-songwriter-actor
Bob Newhart, funny human
Raquel Welch, sexy human
Freddie Mercury, rock God
Dweezil Zappa, progeny of a rock God
Michael Keaton, mostly good actor except for that creepy snowman flick
John Stewart, musician (The Kingston Trio)

Smut Clyde said...

Eleventh!!
Happy birthday D. Sidhe! (and Werner Herzog).

maryclev said...

At the after party:

Moondoggie: I can hear the ocean!

Riley: You can? Well, I can smell the...oh god. That's NOT the ocean!

Very Happy BD D!

Doc Logan said...

A very happy birthday, D. Sidhe! May cats everywhere leap in joyous tribute!

Carl said...

Oh good! I got in before D. did.

Happy birthday, D!

May all your Bigfeets be fake ones.

Anonymous said...

Whew, just in time.
Happy, happy days D.
May you enjoy many days of happy longness and long happiness.
Best.
Suezboo

KWillow said...

Happy Day, D.Sidhe!

Debbi said...

What a great birthday!

With performing cats. Wow!

Enjoy many more, D. Sidhe!

preznit said...

Happy Belated. and stop looking at me like that, it's been busy in the salt mines. and there was a convention going on ;}

Weird Dave said...

Ah Ms. Sidhe,

I don't do natal anniversaries well so please forgive me.
However there is something I am curious about:

I was always under the impression that your name was an alias (although of course, I could be wrong).
I've always liked your name; it was like Dee-sid-dee or something (yes, I am weird), and I've often wondered if there was a reason why you chose the name D. Sidhe (no answer is actually required but yes, really, I am curious)?

D. Sidhe said...

I still love that cat video. Also, I love those cats.

Thanks for the well-wishing, folks. I've been absent of late, but no, I'm not dead. I'm on new meds, again. These were prompted by one of my shrinks being informed by my partner that we'd bought a big cardboard box. It was my partner's idea, actually. "Now, when you're too depressed, you can go be in the box for a while and pretend you're dead, and then when you're bored with that you can come out again." I agreed to give it a try, and spent three days in it after my mother visited. Then I had to be talked out of the box, because I was pretty sure that G Gordon Liddy was in the crawlspace again, and I thought that meant I was in hell. Unlike the zombies, tragically, G. Gordon Liddy does not go away if you throw rubber duckies at him.

So, yeah, I've been even less sensible than usual. And probably less entertaining. My partner started coloring on the outside of my box, and the cats clawed at it. Boxes are notoriously boring from either side.

My partner, for the record, is a saint, in addition to being a genius.

But, new drugs, so we're optimistic. If this doesn't work, I'm going to use this coupon I have for Doc Sanity. If I end up wrestling Taft in a ghillie suit, I will not be surprised.

Seriously, thank you all for the very kind words and the reminder that the rest of the world exists. I forget sometimes. :-)

Weird Dave: D. Sidhe is short for Daonie Sidhe. It's actually pronounced "Danny Shee", or thereabouts. They're the uncanny critters you may know collectively as the fae. (And no, I don't want to discuss the Siffy program.) Otherwise known as the Little People, the Old People, the Hidden People. It's a joke, mostly, that sounds plausible enough that most people don't ask what it means or what my real name is. Which is convenient, since the punchline is even more complicated and TMI.

Werid Dave said...

Thanks for sharing the story of your name. I really did wonder about it.

And here's hoping you find the correct balance of chemicals to get you through this World O' Crap. That can be tough especially if your system is a little, uh, different. (I've always preferred cannabis, and have mentioned mt. bike high - the best combination of adrenaline, dopamine, and endorphins ever - before, but I don't think either of those are recommended for you. (Just riding around town on a nice day may be a thought though.))

Be well.