Saturday, September 1, 2012

Why Does She Put Up With Me? A Continuing Series

(Note:  Mary has caught the first of what will no doubt be many colds from her students, and is spending the Labor Day Weekend suffering the effects.  Note also that this in no way stopped me.)

Mary:  Is Dick Clark dead?

Scott:  Yes.  Why?

Mary:   I never know when he's dead.

Scott:  I didn't realize he commuted between this world and the next.

Mary:  You know what I mean.

Scott:  "Is Dick Clark alive this week?"  "I dunno, let me check my menstrual calendar...Yep, there's a full moon tomorrow."

Mary:  I mean I never know when famous people are dead.

Scott:  That must make it awkward for you at funerals.  "Mrs. Johnson, I'm so sorry for your loss.  Fortunately, your husband was a complete non-entity, so I could tell he was dead..."

Mary:  That's --

Scott:  "If he'd achieved the slightest bit of success or renown, I'd be confused about his current state of mortality, but since he died in utter obscurity, I instinctively knew he was a corpse!"

(Mary guzzles tumbler of Ny-Quil.)

Scott:  Have your cold symptoms come back already?

Mary:  No.

9 comments:

Ivan G. Shreve, Jr. said...

There goes that nasal irrigation system again...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Dick Clark is dead?
~

heydave said...

This is that bliss thing I hear about, right?

Doc Logan said...

And upon reading this, I immediately went to the Abe Vigoda Status web page.

Whew.

Carl said...

Schroedinger's Tissue Box?

maryclev said...

Why do I put up with you? I put up with you because your mocking of my sporadic stupidity makes me laugh my lungs out. That's why.

And we need more Ny-Quil.

Li'l Innocent said...

This is that bliss thing I hear about, right?

Well, Scott sounds pretty blissful... he's obviously on such a roll - or is sampling the coff medicine surreptitiously - that he couldn't help himself.

And, anyway, to quote B.D. Wong in "The Freshman": "Without humor, what do we have??"

Chris Vosburg said...

Yep, dead, but I bet he still looks great.

M. Bouffant said...

Same w/ my (in?)significant other the teacher, infection after infection. Teachers should get germ combat pay.