Monday, November 12, 2012

World's Worst Poetry Slam

The other day we marveled (from a safe distance) at how the results of the Presidential election had driven Mary Matalin into a kind of fugue state, in which she was only able to communicate in words that began with the letter "D" ("The President is a debauched, declassé, and dandified dentifrice with dandruff, dressed in a daring dashiki and downing Darjeeling.  He's deaf to deacons, dowses for dimes in the demimonde, and dances with demons as he defaces the Decalogue!")

Well, Weird Dave discovered (via rumproast) that she went on CNN and performed this same masterpiece of alliteration as a one woman show.  Enjoy!

Someone defuse her before she detonates.

11 comments:

Jimbo said...

Mary Matalin - whose name is alliterative - is evidently enamored by the cheap media parlor trick of alliterative condemnation. Sorry, Van Jones is so much more impressive than she is (or for that matter her husband who is the cackling cueball).

Carl said...

It's like Karen Finley, only with rotted yams.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

So mom was right...your face can get stuck like that.
~

Weird Dave said...

Thanks Scott.

First, credit where credit is due*.

Second, Mr. Jones is far more polite than anything I would be.

And third, seriously Mary? Seriously?

*I barely know what RSS or HTML stands for let alone actually do it. I am not aware of all internet traditions so I must rely on people smarter than me to get my information. Fortunately you all don't let me down.

BB-Idaho said...

Mary Matalin's morose mutterings mask a myopic
mutinous macaque. Mary's mealymouthed
muckraking murmurs mostly mezmerize the melancholy
misbalanced minority. Machiavellian, menacing, mean-
is the Matalin misanthropic meme.

Weird Dave said...

Oh, and way funnier.

Chris Vosburg said...

Wow, we poked a little fun earlier, but get ready for a new entry in the DSM:

OAD (obsessive alliterative disorder).

Man, my skin crawls: what a sour bitch, and I think this may be the first time I've use the word "bitch" in reference to a female human, or any human for that matter.

I'm sorry, but no other word will do.

Chris Vosburg said...

Wow, we poked a little fun earlier, but get ready for a new entry in the DSM:

OAD (obsessive alliterative disorder).

Man, my skin crawls: what a sour bitch, and I think this may be the first time I've use the word "bitch" in reference to a female human, or any human for that matter.

I'm sorry, but no other word will do.

Chris Vosburg said...

Oops, double click.

Chris Vosburg said...

Took me a while to come up with it, but it's Mr. Blackwell, the former fashion designer turned tabloid columnist who taught Mary everything she apparently knows about writing alliterative insults.

Chris Vosburg said...

Jesus, what is it with me and the internet today: here's the link I tried (and failed) to tie to Mr Blackwell.