Friday, December 21, 2012

The Joe Gillis Report

Hey guys. Sorry about the dearth of posts lately (and many thanks to Keith for stepping in to keep the place running). I'm doing a rewrite job on a movie that's shooting as we speak, and aside from the usual challenges of independent film (little time, less money, and only intermittent Red Vines on the craft service table), I've spent the last couple days in the middle of the desert with subfreezing temperatures, spotty cellphone coverages, and no wi-fi.
The view outside my trailer.  Watch out for snakes!

Additionally, the director doesn't speak a word of English except "No," and my Berlitz phrase book has been failing me in story conferences, because I can't find a good translation for "dickhead."
Today we moved to a less frigid, but also less picturesque location.

We're supposed to wrap on Sunday, so WoC's regular semi-regular posting schedule should continue next week.  In the meantime, if any of our fine stable of guest columnists (Bill S., Chris V., Mary C., Keith) should -- like Jimmy in I Accuse My Parents -- be seized with an essay idea, feel free to email me.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

What language does he speak because I am sure one of the regulars knows how to say dickhead in that language.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Snakes don't move too fast in the cold.
~

M. Bouffant said...

Ah, show bidness.

We all know what the NRA said about your ilk.

Debbi said...

Writing for film. So glamorous, right? Ha ha ha ...

Take care, Scott! :)

scripto said...

So when can we look forward to the premier of the The Hills Have Eyes IV?

Li'l Innocent said...

All that emptiness... so good for the mind! And they're even paying you, even.

Best of holidays, Scott, to you and S.Z. and Mary and the 4-footeds. Also everyone else here, and onward to the fresh, unknown new year.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

" I'm doing a rewrite job on a movie that's shooting as we speak, and aside from the usual challenges of independent film (little time, less money, and only intermittent Red Vines on the craft service table), I've spent the last couple days in the middle of the desert with subfreezing temperatures, spotty cellphone coverages, and no wi-fi."

WAAAAAH. WAAAAAAAAH. FUCKIN' WAH.

I gotcher ho. ho. ho. right fuckin' here, dood.

Love to all, hope nobody is freezing or burning off the side of a canyon or falling into the ocean. Other than that, I'll be hiding under the bed.

Chris Vosburg said...

Additionally, the director doesn't speak a word of English except "No," and my Berlitz phrase book has been failing me in story conferences, because I can't find a good translation for "dickhead."

Well, let's hope he can't read English either, otherwise, he might come across your evaluation of him here some day, and then you'll never work in this godforsaken desert again, pal.

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

Y'know, Vosburg, I always wondered who, exactly, ENFORCES that whole "you'll never work {insert region here} again!" shit... Any insight?

Stacia said...

You know how those sneaky furriners are, Scott. He pretends to not know English, but secretly can understand every single word you say. Check his wallet while he's passed out on hooch: He probably has an actual card identifying him as a Commie Pinko!

Scott said...

Stacia, if he secretly understood every single word, that would be a dream come true, because I had some choice ones for him -- including "grommet," "stoat" and "prelapsarian."