Friday, November 14, 2014

Random Scenes of Hollywood

Update on Mary's condition: she's doing well, with no post-operative infection (I wasn't particularly worried about that, but as Wo'C Chief Medical Officer Dr. BDH remarked, hospitals are "full of germs and mistakes." She's developed a bit of a cough, and every hacking spasm hurts like hell, but otherwise the pain is manageable, and she's able to get around the apartment. We'll know more when she sees the doctor on Monday.

Meanwhile, Moondoggie is exhausted from all the feels, and just wants this week to be over.

Anyway, I haven't really felt like poking a stick into the muddy bottom of the right blogosphere and stirring it around until methane bubbles pop on the surface, but I did manage to take a walk and snap a few photos -- and while I'm certainly not trying to compete with ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© I figure it's been awhile since we've done one of these. So please enjoy The (Mostly) All Cactus Hollywood Sidewalk Revue!
Two cacti embrace, one of whom is extremely aroused.

I don't know what species of cactus this is, I only know that it's Textured for Her Pleasure.

The cactus in the center appears to be delivering a big, rabble-rousing speech. The one on the left, however, seems to have gotten bored, started watching the two canoodling cacti above, and popped a half-chubby (which is always embarrassing if the meeting adjourns unexpectedly, because then you've got to sit there and shuffle your papers around until it wilts).

This cactus is doing it's famous impression of a Sandworm Eating Gooseberries.

I'm not sure, but I think this cactus is flipping us off.

This is either a palm tree that has been eaten away by blight or natural erosion and is about to snap in half and brain a passerby, or it's a Muppet version of a tiki idol.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!

www.boycottamericanwomen.com

Dr. Alice said...

Huh. Don't have much to reply to that, except I liked the cacti.

Scott said...

Thanks, Alice. I just wish I'd taken more pictures of foreign (non-American) cacti, because most botanists agree that domestic desert plants are slutty and can't cook.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I used to have a bunch of little cacti from the Union Square greenmarket. I had them over 25 years.

Cacti R Kool!
~

maryclev said...

I just wish I could tell exactly *how* a post about Cacti managed to snag the attention of a failed PUA.

I'm just glad he has come up with an answer as to why he doesn't have a girlfriend and just in time for Holiday family get togethers!

Weird Dave said...

Very glad that that American Woman, Mary is doing well.

Go figure about the deluded MRA idjit. I have no idea.

And you call those a cacti? These are cacti.

KWillow said...

My grandmother had an extensive cactus garden (in Lake Elsinore before it was a lake,aka: the 50s), and I loved to visit when I was a kid. When they bloom it really is spectacular; eat your hearts out, orchids!

She gave us kids a book "What kind of cactus is that?" which we loved because the front cover had a drawing of a man with cactus thorns in his ass.

Anon's description of American women sounds just like me!. Yay me!

grouchomarxist said...

I have decided to boycott American women

Yeah, that'll show 'em.

Anybody want to start a pool on how long it'll take anon to figure out that for a "boycott" to work, you have to withhold something the other party wants?

Thanks for the update, Scott. That's one tired and shagged-out kitty.

acrannymint said...

I liked that he had to emphasize (twice) that foreign women where non-American.

Michael said...

Not to be pedantic, but those are old world plants from Africa, and are called Euphorbias. More often than not they grow into treelike forms. Genuine cacti only occur in North and south America.
P.S. I am a horticulturist who has been lurking here since 2004. Thanks for introducing me to the late Doghouse Riley and to D. Sidhe. I have the book, the mug, and the T-shirt!
I'm not very witty myself, but really enjoy the blog and the comments.

Scott said...

Welcome, Michael (welcome backdated to 2004), and thanks for reading the blog (and needless to say, for the patronage of our book and mug franchise! Thanks also for the informed commentary on our non-cacti friends (and no need to apologize for pedantry -- we get so much faux intellectual posturing from our blog post subjects that a dash of actual subject matter expertise is like a bracing slap of Aqua Velva).

Please feel free to comment whenever the urge strikes. A lot of people who have told me in email that they're intimidated by all the funny people in comments have themselves turned into some of my favorite commenters.

Li'l Innocent said...

For one breath-catching moment, I feared that the strain of having to feed, pet, and litterbox-maintain Moondoggie while Mom was in the hospital had snapped Scott's mind like a dry twig, and he had run off to join the Men back in their Cave in the InterWoods, where they use red ochre and lumps of charcoal to draw images of horses, deer, wild bulls, and foreign women with averted gazes, brooms, and chaste but large tits...

But after that first gasp, I realized that was ridiculous! Scott's mind is a supple thing and could never snap, for one thing, and for another, all his posts radiate connubial sharing and goodness.

(Well, maybe not the cactus-themed ones - they radiate thorns and 8th-grade metaphors.) Welcome home, Mary. Don't bother to wake up, Moondoggie.

Jimbo said...

The last photo is definitely a Tiki and i happen to know that the Easter Island stoned guys are not happy with this funky guy.

grouchomarxist said...

Maybe it's a tourist from carnivorous howling stump planet? That, or the triffids' country cousin, who's been cultivating a few acres up in Humboldt County.

Scott said...

I just love the thought of the Triffids' country cousin. Reminds me of that old classic children's book, The City Triffid and the Country Triffid.

Jim Donahue said...

Sending my good wishes and hoping Mary is swiftly on the mend.