Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Dorkest Time Line

My friend Elizabeth alerted the world (or at least Facebook) to this Newt Gingrich tweet:

So I guess if Newt were President -- as he should have been! -- he'd use Hellfire-armed drones to shoot the Goodyear Blimp out of the sky before a super hot German-Palestinian lady terrorist could honey-trap Bruce Dern into using it to blow up the Super Bowl. Too late, however, President Newt would realize this wasn't the 1977 Black Sunday Super Bowl, but the 1976 Two Minute Warning Super Bowl, where the Goodyear Blimp was instrumental in spotting the crazed sniper threatening the crowd, and now the maniac is free to pick off spectators at will, giving snipers a bad name so that 40 years later American Sniper is considered in bad taste and bombs at the box office. Say what you want about our elites, Newt, but at least they're smart enough not to screw with the frigging Butterfly Effect.

7 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Does this mean Newtie wants to release part 4 of the Congressional 9-11 report?

Haha, I keed.
~

Jay B. said...

I am watching the Creature of the Black Lagoon — 1930something movie about a creature coming out of the Black Lagoon — and still we think it can't happen? When will our elites learn?

Anonymous said...

I just finished reading "Elmer Gantry"... When will our elites learn?

Helmut Monotreme said...

So, what America does Newt live in, where he isn't one of the elites?

Smut Clyde said...

Do the "elites who refuse to face reality" include the dude watching a fictional movie?

Cole said...

Wow...38 years without a terrorist attacking the SuperBowl! WHY HAVEN'T THEY DONE SOMETHING TO STOP THIS MADNESS??!!

KWillow said...

Cole beat me to it: I was going to say maybe the "elites" (???) have faced "reality" and stopped any terrorist attacks on the Super Bowl.

I read... somewhere... that when judging the verity of a Conspiracy Theory one should first ask this question: "Will it harm the RICH?" If the answer is YES, then its highly unlikely the MOTUs were are behind the event/conspiracy.

And aren't there a lot of really really really RICH people hangin' at the Super Bowl (and the WTC, for that matter)?

Of course it makes it more likely that terrorists would attack there (see WTC), but unlikely that the Power-Elites in the USA conspired with them.

Phew!