Friday, January 1, 2016

Rebooting the Franchise in 2016

Yes, this year was pretty much like beating myself on the skull with Maxwell's Silver Hammer.

So...Before we exit the year in a safe and orderly fashion, I just wanted to give the final birthday shout-out of 2015 to Wo'C lurker Jacquie, whose natal anniversary was December 29. In the past she's requested such toothsome ladies as Eliza Dushku or Charlize Theron for her (cheese)cake, but I think we should go out on a classic note, so here's Coleen Gray, who I just saw at her loveliest in the great (but unlovely) film, Nightmare Alley:
Happy birthday, Jacquie!

This past year hasn't been all bad, but it sure started off rough, with one loss after another. Totaling up the butcher's bill from last New Years Day, we'd recently lost Riley; Mary had recently lost a couple of organs, several tumors, and her job, and we nearly lost the apartment. But thanks to the many wonderful Crappers who rallied to help us, we were able to keep a roof over our heads (or at least an acoustical cottage cheese ceiling which does little to muffle our upstairs neighbor's nightly attempts to stage a one-man version of "Stomp").

Things were hand-to-mouth for most of the year, but toward the end of summer Mary got a job which, while it doesn't pay much, allows her to help people and make the world a little better, and that makes her very happy.

Then Moondoggie, who's been lonesome for a very long time, found a small, black, difficult to photograph friend...

And also a taste of karma, since it turns out that Moondoggie's back fat is to Shadow as Riley's ass was to Moondoggie...

And now it looks like Mystery Science Theater 3000 is coming back for a new season, and since Mary and I met twenty years ago at a screening of MST3K: The Movie, she's has decided to take this as an omen, or a portent, or maybe just a hint, and declare a reboot of life for 2016. So please join us in a toast:

May the coming year be a good reboot, like Ron Moore's Battlestar Galactica, and not a crappy one, like the 2014 Robocop.

Happy New Years, everyone.

6 comments:

Debbi said...

Oh, man. I think 2015 was a crappy year, finance-wise, for many of us.

Hang in there guys. It's great to see the kitty cats getting along.

I may hopefully be able to share some thoughts on the money-making front. Cross your fingers and toes!

Carl said...

May this year make your best year look like your worst, sir.

Yastreblyansky said...

Here's looking at you, kids and kitties. All the best!

heydave said...

Best or worst, fuck it; have a fun one with no regrets or recriminations.

grouchomarxist said...

Happy birthday, Jacquie!

If there's anyone who's one hundred percent guaranteed to have a better year, it's got to be Shadow and her marmalade snuggle-buddy. (And it's gratifying to hear things are looking up for their faithful human companions, too.)

However, I reserve the right to remain deeply disappointed that it's 2016, fer cryin' out loud, and I still can't commute by hovercar to my all-plastic cabin in the mountains! Or vacation on the Moon. I can't even play zero-g foosball on the space station.

Sure, we've got jet packs, but they're fiendishly expensive and really suck for anything more than a quick hop to the 7-11 and back to pick up a six-pack, plus maybe some turkey jerky ... and chips.

But even if The Future ain't what it used to be, best wishes for the new year to all at Maison de Merde.

P.S. Nightmare Alley is indeed an awesome flick. Talk about playing against type. I guess it would have been too unremittingly bleak to have ended on Tyrone Power saying "Mister, I was born to play the part!" (of a carnival geek, to those who've never seen this movie) but you have to admit, it would have made for one hell of a finale.

Anonymous said...

ANNTI sez, enviously...

GREAT cheesecake pic, Scott, and lucky Jacquie! Happy-happy joy-joy, indeed!!! PRRRRRRRR-OOWWWWWWWW, me-OW, honey! That naughty-student-teacher, soon-to-tantalize-fifth-grade-boys-into-TORTURE look, with the "Wait 'til after the final bell, Principal Skinner, and I'll paddle you GOOD!" head turn drawing one into those almond-shaped eyes. Lovely, artistic, even, choice of cheesecake, indeed.

Congrats on the new bebe, Scott & Mary, and I can tell that Moonie's already smitten & will soon be (literally!) pussy-whipped into obedience by his new dominatrix! (Oh, come ON, if HE'S not a SUB, then neither is VITTER!! At least Moonie keeps his above-board, legal, and WITHOUT MURDERING MADAMS!!! And no adult diapers, either!) That lovely little girl will have him whipped into her personal flavor/shape inside of a month, I have no doubt. She's got the eyes for it, and like all black cats, the right hook or south-paw jab to back it up. Black cats, after all, ARE very special. Even tuxedos qualify for that caveat des chats, n'est-ce pas?

And if y'all ever come this way again, please do bring Moonie & Shadow, because I have a feeling that, even though he's been neutered since he was a wee tot, that James will develop a HUGE crush on Shadow. And he'll ADORE Moondoggie, because of a few very similar traits that Moonie shared with the great, inimitable, brilliantly-intelligent BOB.