Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Running Scared

By Keith
“Christianity split the Germanic barbarian into an upper and a lower half, and enabled him, by repressing the dark side, to domesticate the brighter half and fit it for civilization. But the lower, darker half still awaits redemption and a second spell of domestication. Until then, it will remain associated with the vestiges of the prehistoric age, with the collective unconscious, which is subject to a peculiar and ever-increasing activation. As the Christian view of the world loses its authority, the more menacingly will the “blond beast” be heard prowling about in its underground prison, ready at any moment to burst out with devastating consequences. When this happens in the individual it brings about a psychological revolution, but it can also take a social form." 
-- Carl Gustav Jung, "The Role of the Unconscious", 1918 (emphasis mine)
Well, looks like the "blond beast" is back, only this time around it's -- Orange! The hair, the fake tan ... and poor me constantly reaching for the "mute" button on the TV remote.

Now there's a problem with Jung's first sentence above. It appeals to what Jung assumes "everyone knows is true" and a tip-off that the unconscious itself is percolating its way through the argument. Jacques Lacan (OK, I know you're groaning now) imagined the collective unconscious (the "Big Other") as a semantic structure with its own logic and vocabulary. It thinks and speaks. I'll just stop here.

A larger problem lies with The Donald's seizing control of what once was the Republican Party. It is the selection of a suitable vice presidential running mate.

Chris Christie is out, obviously since he's about to be revealed as one of the unindicted conspirators in the "Bridgegate" scandal. Chris will kiss The Donald's ass only if craft services are provided, with lots of chocolate bars and Pringles chips. Marc Rubio is out (he's Mexican? Or what?). Pathetically undiagnosed narcoleptic Benjamin Brainsurgeon is a chocolate person, no dice. Sarah Palin is cool but she always shows up slurred-speech drunk. Also, her wardrobe causes moiré patterns even on hi-def TV, how distracting!

There is only one logical vice presidential candidate suitable for the Trump administration. She happens to be a woman. She also happens to be dead.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I nominate the "Queen" Leona Helmsley?

Nothing could eclipse The Donald's reputation for grift and malfeasance other than a very dead and not terribly distracting former NYC hotelier and real-estate magnate. Oh, wait, Harry Helmsley was the estate genius. Leona took over when Harry became too unwell to notice the process servers arriving with indictments for alleged kick-backs incurred running the properties. But there was always a mint under the pillow at the Helmsley Palace. (Condoms in drawer with KJV.)

If you think Leona can't be resurrected, what about the holographic presentations of Tupac and other deceased entertainers? Don't say it's out of realm of possibility.

xo Keith

10 comments:

Fearguth said...

Looking at Leona, I'm reminded of something Orwell wrote: "At 50, everyone has the face he deserves."

Yastreblyansky said...

Once you allow dead people--as far as I can understand nothing in the Constitution says you can't--why limit yourself to candidates who are as unpleasant as you are? Trump needs to balance his ticket if he's going to win, but to get beyond his base of middle-aged Beavis and Butt-Head he needs somebody who's disagrees with everything he stands for. Unless it's somebody who can't possibly disagree because he or she guaranteed not to speak at all. I think his best chance is to go with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Carl said...

GAH!

PLEASE, GOD, NO! I had a hard enough time killing her off when she was mortal!!!!!!!!!!!

Nigel Tufnel said...

Point taken, but could we PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE eighty-six the fat jokes about Christie? It's the definition of ad hominem and looks like we don't have anything else to criticize him about. There's so much about that bullying fake-tough-guy to slam him over.

heydave said...

That visage is what Sarah Palin sees in her painting in the attic.

Keith said...

Nigel, I don't usually go for fat jokes or body-shaming. In this case Chris does have a rep for snacks and booze which is documented fairly well.

Actually there is another logical choice for VP selection: Roy Cohn. He's dead, like Leona, and ever more sinister. But I couldn't make the selection fearing for scaring our WOC readers, so stuck with Leona.

Debbi said...

OMG! Those lips! Reminds me of the last time I watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show!

scripto said...

If brain dead counts it will be Rick Perry. You heard it here first.

scripto said...

If brain dead counts it will be Rick Perry. You heard it here first.

Hank said...

It's way too tempting to take people at face value, and everyone has moments better not photographed -- but holy carp! Still, even knowing what I do about the "Queen of Mean", I can almost feel pity for the woman. There's something awful in those eyes, and it's turned inward.

Let's see ... perfect running mate for He, Trump ... okay: either the headless body of Spiro Agnew, or failing that, the Kanamit from To Serve Man.