tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post8620937535128573127..comments2024-03-05T19:50:31.497-08:00Comments on World O' Crap: Happy Birthday, Carl! I Got You a Twinge of WhingeScotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-72817297465356204862012-12-17T21:47:08.116-08:002012-12-17T21:47:08.116-08:00Oh holy ratfuck, I JUST PUT YER RESPONSE INTO THE ...Oh holy ratfuck, I JUST PUT YER RESPONSE INTO THE WRONG POST, CARL!!!<br /><br /><b>Scott, dear darling rock of patience and fortitude, could you PLEASE find the damned post and throw it up here, as it will undoubtedly make readers throw-up anyway?</b>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-85236836588192344962012-12-17T21:44:04.000-08:002012-12-17T21:44:04.000-08:00(waving and hopping up and down from the back of t...<i>(waving and hopping up and down from the back of the Wo'C barroom, trying to get Stacia's attention...)</i> <b>Ooh!! Oooh!! Can <i>I</i> have the candy???</b> Hey, if I have to wallow in the physical and emotional cesspool of perimenopause <i>{and all of Y'ALL lucky bastards get to be dragged, kicking and screaming, down the rutted, muddy road through hell WITH ME!}</i>, at least let me indulge my cravings, no matter how batshit-crazy they may be...<br /><br />And Carl, dear heart, you sure as hell know how to kill a punchline deader'n hell, ya know that?<br /><br />Such brilliant anthropomorphized-critter parlay, such a rarity in advertising these days, and all <b>you</b> got is a slag line about "fish," as our bitchier queeny buds refer to vaginal territory... tsk, tsk, tsk... I'm disappointed in you, Carl, you're capable of SOOOOOO much better, even on your laziest days... <i>Tsk, tsk, tsk...</i> C'mon, boy, you get one more chance, but that's it --- if you can't come back with something respectably snarky/perverse, <b>I shall be forced to turn you over <i>to the Scientologists!!!</i></b> And you <b><i>DO</i></b> KNOW that the first stage of inculcation is to toothpick yer eyelids open and force you to watch EVERY. SINGLE. SUCKASS. CRUISE. FLICK. *EVER.* MADE., n'est-ce pas?<br /><br />Then there's the Geoffrey Lewis retrospective, leaving-out the severely-more-intelligent-orangutan bits from the Eastwood redneckia-ad-nauseum genre... maybe even a small pastiche of <i>"I Married Dora"</i> episodes to watch the dear girl-spawn in her fresh-from-the-booby-estuary years...<br /><br />I may not be able to enforce EVERY upon-pain-of-death horrific-imagining threat that I make, m'love, but I can damned well make a few phone calls, even now, when *67 can't protect a prankster from marketing-lizard-scum. Consider thyself more-than-adequately warned, m'boy.<br /><br />C'mon, put some drawers on and HOP TO IT, BOY!!! If *I* can drag my mentally-empty, excruciating-pain-wrenching, drugs-are-SO-not-working-right-this-year ass in here to work up a few good threats for you, you can damned well CATCH UP!!!<br /><br /><b>AND DEAR DARLIN' WEIRD DAVE AND ALL OTHER CRAPPERS: I *STILL* NEED HELP RE-POPULATING THE BIRFDAY LIST!!! I'VE BEEN BEGGING EVERYONE EVER SINCE THE UNTIMELY AND RIDICULOUS DEATH OF THE CCMcGoon/Jobsanger-sponsored LAST MACHINE, AND NOBODY WANTS TO SHARE THEIR BIRFDAYS WITH ME AGAIN!!!!!!</b><br /><br />Should I shut up and take the fucking hint and forget about my only true holidays, celebrating the few rare and precious hoomins who are kind enough to allow me into their lives, or are y'all just LAZY?<br /><br />C'mon, GET TO IT!!! Y'all all have my e-mail address, dammit --- or fill-up the comment threads if needs be --- tack yer birfdays onto the tails of yer comments for my edification and celebration, fer fuck's sake!<br /><br />---Annti<br />XOXOXOAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-4290155680602119052012-12-17T03:53:06.431-08:002012-12-17T03:53:06.431-08:00Happy Extremely Belated Birthday Carl! Sorry Scott...Happy Extremely Belated Birthday Carl! Sorry Scott got you Michelle Malkin bizarre sexual innuendo for your big day; I told him to get you all the candy in the world, but he insisted he got that for you LAST year.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05250238254417726987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-397312889894803572012-12-17T02:26:59.020-08:002012-12-17T02:26:59.020-08:00I'm all about eating fish, hon.I'm all about eating fish, hon.Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03664920037425489644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-54927272104352532212012-12-15T06:01:39.815-08:002012-12-15T06:01:39.815-08:00P.S. Carl...? Seen any Geico commercials lately?...P.S. Carl...? Seen any Geico commercials lately?<br /><br />I laugh out loud, in real life, every time I see the antelopes with the night-vision goggles... <i><b>"Ever thought of going VEGAN, Carl?"</b></i><br /><br /><br /><i>heh heh heh...</i><br />XOXOXO<br />AnntiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-88552038122670756752012-12-12T20:44:42.671-08:002012-12-12T20:44:42.671-08:00Any time, Weird Dave, any time. I've been try...Any time, Weird Dave, any time. I've been trying to re-populate the Birfday List ever since the last senseless computer death, and NOBODY HAS REPLIED!!! The only birfdays that I've been able to commemorate are the ones that FB e-mails me about, but that's hardly teh entirety of all of our online beloveds! Anntichrist S. Coulterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06415084181464098543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-69124198198885622932012-12-12T02:35:11.378-08:002012-12-12T02:35:11.378-08:00Thanks to all you slackers.
Weird D, yea, I'm...Thanks to all you slackers.<br /><br />Weird D, yea, I'm afraid so. Sorry. I wish there was a way to one-off comments but I had to change commenting software quickly when Echo/Haloscan borked, and Intense Debate seemed the most logical (e.g. free) service out there with strong spam protection.Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03664920037425489644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-9082246096259329832012-12-11T19:06:50.952-08:002012-12-11T19:06:50.952-08:00Anti, I need to tell you my natal anniversary just...Anti, I need to tell you my natal anniversary just so you can write something that great for me.<br /><br />And Carl, do I really need to register? Weird Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-67359201827240359312012-12-11T15:55:40.202-08:002012-12-11T15:55:40.202-08:00A belated Happy Birthday to you! Hope it was every...A belated Happy Birthday to you! Hope it was everything a birthday should be!Bill Snoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-4202128152488162802012-12-09T09:39:53.820-08:002012-12-09T09:39:53.820-08:00I've always wondered why the kind of folks who...I've always wondered why the kind of folks who hang Ronald Reagan's portrait on their walls and who admired George W. Bush's appearance in a flight suit find it unseemly that the head of state of a major global power allows photographers to take his picture.Glennishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03681336164718681936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-32643630519198465842012-12-08T13:10:10.555-08:002012-12-08T13:10:10.555-08:00From Annti, via email:
Well, HELL, Carl, I e-mai...From Annti, via email:<br /><br /><br />Well, HELL, Carl, I e-mailed you teh happy-happy DAYS before the actual natal occasion, but ain't heard bupkis back, so I hope that your arthur-itic ol' ass was shaking to the tunes of your choice. Browser issues, STILL, not to mention ripping the ol' left knee apart a few dozen times in the process of FINALLY doing the final load-out of the damned overpriced storage unit and INTO the apartment. Yes, I'm the only person on earf who takes over two months to get moved-in. Sue me and my multiply-broken spine.<br /><br />Nonetheless, I *finally* made it here to send you a far-belated happy-happy, since you don't read yer damned e-mail! And even though I never go to FB anymore, I hope to hell that you've gotten a better picture than your unclothed crotch and a long t-shirt!<br /><br />Sooooo, dear Actor Boy, how old ARE you this year? Heh heh heh... yeah, I could cut you open and count the rings, but that is just TOO much work for this ragged old heifer!Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-60842686484024667302012-12-06T15:18:00.963-08:002012-12-06T15:18:00.963-08:00Mr. 212, in words of wisdom from one of my favori...Mr. 212, in words of wisdom from one of my favorite movies: fuckin'-A!heydavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15509102502417886790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-86387027583155238282012-12-05T15:12:25.007-08:002012-12-05T15:12:25.007-08:00HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACTOR!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACTOR!!!!Woodrowfannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-19995645971765543142012-12-05T11:26:08.128-08:002012-12-05T11:26:08.128-08:00Happy Birthday Carl!
I'm convinced that someb...Happy Birthday Carl!<br /><br />I'm convinced that somebody, somewhere, lined up a couple thousand lite-brites and attempted to faithfully recreate Seurat's Grand Jatte with 'em, point by point.<br /><br />Googled but no soap. Nevertheless, can't believe that there is not a single person on this planet crazy enough to have attempted it. Really, I thought we were crazier than that.<br /><br />Oh well, as usual, ya buncha slackers [rolling up sleeves], guess it's up to me. I'll let you know how it all turns out.<br /><br />Now then, where was I? Oh yeah-- there's one peg... two... three... four...Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-7802218681316847562012-12-05T02:28:00.101-08:002012-12-05T02:28:00.101-08:00Thank you all very much. My cyberlife is much more...Thank you all very much. My cyberlife is much more scintillating and exciting than my real life, which saw me in physical therapy for my arthritis instead of out at some bacchanalia with wine, women, and meth...<br /><br />And yes, I am that 212. Not to be confused with my franchisees.Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03664920037425489644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-60452710060527280972012-12-04T18:50:58.224-08:002012-12-04T18:50:58.224-08:00I'm speechless, but I'll leave a comment t...I'm speechless, but I'll leave a comment to let you know that. Ha!Debbihttp://mackthewriter.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-82168297956634892012012-12-04T17:10:22.514-08:002012-12-04T17:10:22.514-08:00Yo Mr. 212, if that is your real name,
I would le...Yo Mr. 212, if that is your real name,<br /><br />I would leave the occasional comment over at <a href="http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">your place</a> but<br /><br />A) I would have to register, and <br /><br />B) even worse, someone already <i>has</i> my name (there's a scary thought, <i>two</i> Weird Daves.)<br /><br />Well, happy natal anniversary anyway.Weird Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-35796569722878792362012-12-04T15:43:04.096-08:002012-12-04T15:43:04.096-08:00Many happy innuendos, Carl. I'm startled that ...Many happy innuendos, Carl. I'm startled that you should be one&thesame as the wild and wooly Actor212. Carl is a very sensible sort of name.<br /><br />Are you sure it's not really Fabio?<br />Li'l Innocenthttp://ladysmantle.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-73014034966806734552012-12-04T10:20:04.209-08:002012-12-04T10:20:04.209-08:00You know what else happened on December 4?
1978:...You know what else happened on December 4? <br /><br /><b>1978: Pioneer <i>Venus 1</i> goes into orbit around Venus.</b><br /><br />And who among us wouldn't, given the chance? They should film a re-enactment and show it every holidayish season.<br /><br />Happy birthday, dude. I don't FB. I don't hate it or anything, I'm just really lazy.Larkspurnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-9403228131514775402012-12-04T09:21:44.036-08:002012-12-04T09:21:44.036-08:00Actor has birthdays, who knew?
I thought they aros...Actor has birthdays, who knew?<br />I thought they arose spontaneously from a cloud of ego and id.<br />Happy Birthday, Carl, you snarky thespian, you.<br />SuezbooAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-10421141384107897192012-12-04T04:28:48.206-08:002012-12-04T04:28:48.206-08:00Effbook is a tool of S-A-T-A-N, Carl!
~Effbook is a tool of S-A-T-A-N, Carl!<br />~ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©https://www.blogger.com/profile/06252371815131259831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-55955108799105180762012-12-04T03:29:14.025-08:002012-12-04T03:29:14.025-08:00That Baldwin tweet was pretty "cunning,"...That Baldwin tweet was pretty "cunning," doncha think?<br /><br /><br />Many Happy Returns of the Day, Carl.<br /><br /><br />Colenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-2692881690868568632012-12-04T02:23:59.462-08:002012-12-04T02:23:59.462-08:00My Facebook page? Sexual innuendo?
What the hell ...My Facebook page? Sexual innuendo?<br /><br />What the hell am I doing here reading comments????Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03664920037425489644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-64916348955617978152012-12-04T02:08:48.381-08:002012-12-04T02:08:48.381-08:00Happy B-Day, actor.
(But behave yourself, or I&#...Happy B-Day, actor. <br /><br />(But behave yourself, or I'll de-friend you.)M. Bouffanthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04519088858760760560noreply@blogger.com