tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post8634506256403301837..comments2024-03-05T19:50:31.497-08:00Comments on World O' Crap: Why I Should Never Be A Wedding PlannerScotthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-32134688301367695752012-11-21T21:43:21.191-08:002012-11-21T21:43:21.191-08:00ChildhoodChildhoodHamish Mackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18079552635307235197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-8228589263481679892012-11-21T17:28:49.820-08:002012-11-21T17:28:49.820-08:00I used to cram firecrackers in my Aurora models an...I used to cram firecrackers in my Aurora models and blow them up. Admittedly, they were all airplanes.<br />I wonder if there is a name for the need to destroy something you have spent so long picking out, buying and constructing.Poicephalushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12248175945527578705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-45567285203061357722012-11-21T15:01:18.441-08:002012-11-21T15:01:18.441-08:00Annti is having trouble with Blogger again, and as...Annti is having trouble with Blogger again, and asked me to post the following comment for her:<br />**********************************<br />Hey, Mary, it's Annti --- before I read your loverly article about wedding planning and other ways to piss money into the wind, I *have* to say that I <i><b>THOROUGHLY enjoyed the living FUCK out of that "poll" in the doubleclick ad below this post from the "Public Advocate" fucktards!!!!!!</b></i><br />Please, everyone who gets THIS particular bullet in the Google Ads roulette game, PLEASE pull the fucking trigger and TAKE THEIR POLL!!! It's all about RADICAL HOMOSEXURALS & THEIR ACTIVIST AGENDA AND LETTING ***TEACHERS***, THOSE BRAZEN HUSSIES, ***TEACH*** SEXUAL EDUCATION TO YER CHIRRENS!!!!!! Do it, y'all, seriously. You will gut-laugh at these assholes, I promise you.<br />And yes, I signed my "full name" as required by the poll... motherfucking <i><b>"JESSE collection of little shoes HELMS"!!!!!!</b></i><br />XOXOXO<br />AnntiScotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-55970817950596927572012-11-21T06:27:34.351-08:002012-11-21T06:27:34.351-08:00Scott said...
"RED DAWN theme wedding:"
...Scott said...<br />"RED DAWN theme wedding:"<br /><br />for a second there, I thought you said "RED DWARF theme wedding".<br /><br />Which *would* be rather awesome. Especially the Chicken Vindaloo at the reception.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-46391004351052984142012-11-20T14:59:46.294-08:002012-11-20T14:59:46.294-08:00Hey, I'm a traditionalist. If the bride won...Hey, I'm a traditionalist. If the bride won't let me wear burlap and blood larvae, I'm saying no to any sort of bride's-maiding gig.<br /><br />On a tangential note, I am developing a line of Horrible Lipsticks which may be of interest to those opting for alternatively themed empartnering events. Here is what I have so far. Some have to be read aloud. Some are probably hopelessly obtuse. Some I'd actually like to wear, although I despise lipstick on account of it gets on my teeth and also makes me look like Miss Minkin.<br /><br />Come Here Rouge<br />Brigada Rosa<br />Nascent Orange<br />Infra Red<br />What A Maroon<br />Rubicunt<br />Coral High Date<br />Lewd Nude<br />Senseless Violets<br />Blush Limbo<br /><br />PS: I am not drunk. Also, the only non-negotiable wedding requirement for me is that I must be allowed to carry a basil bouquet.Larkspurnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-47858093260017213392012-11-20T10:59:17.047-08:002012-11-20T10:59:17.047-08:00Last last last add Red Dawn 2012:
75 Million Doll...Last last last add Red Dawn 2012:<br /><br />75 Million Dollars [laughing].Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-83321159621961357312012-11-20T09:37:31.555-08:002012-11-20T09:37:31.555-08:00As a last last add, I give you Star Trek: The Moti...As a last last add, I give you <i>Star Trek: The Motion Picture</i>, which propelled the acting careers of Persis Khambatta and Stephen Collins into obscurity.<br /><br />I'm currently watching the movie now on the IFC channel, which has been running the lot of the Star Trek Movies all month. This, the first of them, is absolutely appalling, and the long and lingering windy walk shots of the external lighting of the Enterprise are boring the shit out of me. <br /><br />And then it gets worse. The plot is, so help me, about a typographical error.<br /><br />Drinking game: every time Kirk says, as a single sentence:<br /><br />"Spock!"<br /><br />Also, gayest Starfleet uniforms ever! Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-4384285325285305572012-11-20T08:42:52.241-08:002012-11-20T08:42:52.241-08:00As a last add on Red Dawn, it's also the case ...As a last add on <i>Red Dawn</i>, it's also the case that the original had some serious star power drawing the audience, and the remake has probably just crushed the budding careers of several unknowns who will never be able to live down the embarrassment. Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-22948297472366798332012-11-20T08:30:43.920-08:002012-11-20T08:30:43.920-08:00Dave, if there's anything resembling a rule in...Dave, if there's anything resembling a rule in the commenting here, it is that nothing, and I mean nothing brother, is off topic.<br /><br />The Red Dawn remake, which trailer I just saw, reaffirms my belief that there are some movies which simply should not be remade.<br /><br />In some cases the original simply can't be improved upon (Psycho comes to mind), but in the instant case, there simply isn't any reason to make an audience undergo the stupidity of the original with additional FX.<br /><br />Fucking pointless. I'm betting that it'll do as well as the <i>Atlas Shrugged</i> franchise.<br /><br />Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-27741536041974400292012-11-20T06:08:49.138-08:002012-11-20T06:08:49.138-08:00Hey, sorta OT but doesn't Red Dawn 2012: Even ...Hey, sorta OT but doesn't <i>Red Dawn 2012: Even More Ridiculous</i> open tomorrow?<br /> (The most unintentionally funny line ever uttered in a movie: The combined might of the Cuban and Nicaraguan armies.)Weird Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-35008055163274699592012-11-19T02:27:36.050-08:002012-11-19T02:27:36.050-08:00Except when I showed up to the wedding themed wedd...Except when I showed up to the wedding themed wedding.Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03664920037425489644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-36768187370500950012012-11-18T15:46:04.873-08:002012-11-18T15:46:04.873-08:00No one here would be surprised?No one here would be surprised?Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-12997189781920874092012-11-18T15:12:28.093-08:002012-11-18T15:12:28.093-08:00What if I got married in a nudist colony?What if I got married in a nudist colony?Carlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03664920037425489644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-5961603793538452822012-11-18T08:18:04.221-08:002012-11-18T08:18:04.221-08:00KWillow suggests: Bridesmaids dresses from Victori...KWillow suggests: <i>Bridesmaids dresses from Victoria's Secret.</i><br /><br />Now we're talkin! Plus, Wocka-chicka-wocka-chicka bride's march.Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-67796773887199388312012-11-18T08:00:14.410-08:002012-11-18T08:00:14.410-08:00A last add on unusual weddings, from Dummy (2002)....A last add on unusual weddings, from <i>Dummy</i> (2002).<br /><br />Heidi (Illeana Douglas) confides to Fangora (Milla Jovovich) that she's desperate to find a klezmer band for a wedding she's planning, and Fangora, punk rocker desperate for gigs, tells her that klezmer is what her band is <i>totally</i> about, and:<br /><br /><i>Heidi: Because every klezmer band in town is booked and I desperately need a band. But if I hire you, you have to be willing to "hora". Is that a problem? <br /><br />Fangora: Oh man, at this point I'd fuck anyone. </i>Chris Vosburgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-72967883213019245392012-11-17T23:58:04.439-08:002012-11-17T23:58:04.439-08:00Just wanted to say: that's how I got married. ...Just wanted to say: that's how I got married. Graceland wedding chapel, Old Fat Elvis in scratchy polyester, Reverend Rudy, whole schtick.<br /><br />It was awesome.Thursdayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13716639373048900646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-32138963065503345672012-11-17T21:38:28.005-08:002012-11-17T21:38:28.005-08:00Fair enough, WD, but at least tell us this:
Are z...<i>Fair enough, WD, but at least tell us this:<br /><br />Are zombies the best part?</i><br /><br />That depends. How do you feel about hockey masks?Weird Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-29292971507863890262012-11-17T21:29:33.662-08:002012-11-17T21:29:33.662-08:00that's it! we have a winner (imo)! When we ren...that's it! we have a winner (imo)! When we renew our vows, it's gonna be a Deadliest Catch theme. We'll renew our vows on the Northwestern, with Sig Hansen officiating. In lieu of a bouquet toss, I'll be either let loose one of the crab pots, or throw the hook to bring a crap pot in...<br /><br />Best. Wedding. Theme. EVER!<br />maryclevhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00785496858123839668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-69864672041881713142012-11-17T21:28:32.304-08:002012-11-17T21:28:32.304-08:00*Hint. Zombies are not the worst part.
Sez you. ...<i>*Hint. Zombies are not the worst part</i>.<br /><br />Sez you. My wife will argue otherwise.zombie rotten mcdonaldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10601960953323752278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-38697359302521982992012-11-17T21:07:01.549-08:002012-11-17T21:07:01.549-08:00Base everything on Jethro Tull's "Aqualun...Base everything on Jethro Tull's "Aqualung." Including the groom's snot.Bill the Splutnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-69143004441971195722012-11-17T20:05:08.115-08:002012-11-17T20:05:08.115-08:00"Your husband is quite the catch."
&quo..."Your husband is quite the catch."<br /><br />"Oh believe, me, he's the <i>deadliest</i> catch."<br /><br />(Is that show still on?)Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-30024515823865272052012-11-17T19:05:22.839-08:002012-11-17T19:05:22.839-08:00Fishpacker wedding:
Bride and groom wear matching...Fishpacker wedding:<br /><br />Bride and groom wear matching international orange Gore-tex bib overalls, waterproof boots, wool socks, heavy flannel shirts,wool watch caps, and rubber gloves with grit embedded into the plastic. <br /><br />Marriage takes place on fishing trawler. Couple married by captain. Guest list limited by law; but party favors can include joints once you've passed the three mile limit!<br /><br />Catering: Boat's cook. Menu: Fresh bread, scallops over pasta, salmon fillet, fresh crab. No green stuff.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-54187308052492995632012-11-17T18:55:20.051-08:002012-11-17T18:55:20.051-08:00Fair enough, WD, but at least tell us this:
Are z...Fair enough, WD, but at least tell us this:<br /><br />Are zombies the <i>best</i> part?Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02798340582589737829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-59277565147461576502012-11-17T18:27:55.837-08:002012-11-17T18:27:55.837-08:00You all probably wouldn't want to hear my fant...You all probably wouldn't want to hear my fantasy wedding theme* but I do have a question about that wedding picture:<br /><br />Is the bride shown actually supposed to be able to walk in that dress or does she just get carried in (and out) on the lounge by six well oiled Nubians?<br /><br />*Hint. Zombies are not the worst part.Weird Davenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1776456473941522431.post-17054173478438789532012-11-17T18:00:30.841-08:002012-11-17T18:00:30.841-08:00I'm not a big fan of "novelty girl" ...I'm not a big fan of "novelty girl" back-patting. <br /><br />Are all girls into weddings? Are most? I dunno. I never gave them much thought. Maybe I'm a rarity, but I kinda doubt it. But having both a vagina and enjoying MST3K is probably not *that* unusual. All's I know is that I put the MST3K sticker on my bumper, not my husband. Dr.KennethNoisewaterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07756205027083077404noreply@blogger.com